Taco.....You have to "Unburn the Chili" to undo the fukn curse you put on the shi1birds.
You have to retrace the days events......in their entirety. But don't toss the chili over the fence though. Flush it down the fukn toilet this time...then take a big fat chili dump on it. Then wipe your ass with the front cover of an eagles program from their last home loss.
so i just got one of those bi-weekly newsletter emails from the eagles... the email was entitled, "Eagles Bye Week Comes at a Great Time." I couldn't help but respond with:
"don't send me this fuking bull$hit after three straight losses, you faggots. I hate you, I really hate you."
{Taco.....You have to "Unburn the Chili" to undo the fukn curse you put on the shi1birds.
You have to retrace the days events......in their entirety. But don't toss the chili over the fence though. Flush it down the fukn toilet this time...then take a big fat chili dump on it. Then wipe your ass with the front cover of an eagles program from their last home loss.
That should lift the curse.}
I agree .....the curse may have started with my "Chili Chucking" incident.......a sad but true story. Let me re-live the events in hopes you can break down the start of the curse
I cooked the meat for the chili the night before.....it was a mixture of sausage and beef. I also started the base ...made from garden grown tomatoes, chili peppers. cheyenne peppers and Habanero peppers. I bought the onion. The morning (8 am) of the Eagles collapse vs. the giants....I put all the ingredients in a crock pots and set to high. I didnt start drinking till about 12 EST. That consisted of Vodka mixed with diet Dr Pepper. I usually dont eat till after the game......it tends to interfere with the buzz...so the chili cooked away as the Vodka entered my bloodstream. It was the 3rd Quarter... I am safely snug in my home theartre chairs....Vodka by my side...and i pass out. I wake to the wife yelling at me "You burnt the Chili" .....as my eyes focus...I see the pass that leads to the OT field goal that sent the Eagles into the tailspin. Since that day.....I have watched a loss at my Brothers house.....he served wings I have watched another loss at home......we tried a crockpot of sausage and meatballs. Actually tried that one 2 times and this last loss....no drinking till the second quarter...and no food. WTF.....What do I need to do? Back in the Buddy Ryan days.....I used to make bacon, chili , cheese, scrapple dogs. Sent a friend to the hospital with chest pains after ingesting one...stopped it after that
Find out Where Brad Johnson lives.....wait for him in a bush, then smatter a whole pile of your excrement in and around his face..
Do this before gametime so he gets to sick to play.
then maybe you will win a few more games.
Brad Johnson's arm is so embarrasingly weak at this point. His accuracy..awesome.
Oh yeah, give the same treatment to that bust of a first round pick that everyone and their mother was lining up to blow. His nipples are still raw from all of that activity. Brad Johnson musters up enough strenght for two deep balls and game and that loser drops every fukn one.
GoBears.....this whole Eagles-Chili curse is getting strange. I walk into work today (i have been off since Friday) and a couple of guys greet me with "There's the black cat".
WTF are you talking about? Is my reply.
Then they hit me with "All of the Eagles problems started when I passed out and burned the chili"
TACOBILL wrote: OK ...GoNostrodamusBear...how do I unburn the chili ?
You have to retrace the days events......in their entirety. But don't toss the chili over the fence though. Flush it down the fukn toilet this time...then take a big fat chili dump on it. Then wipe your ass with the front cover of an eagles program from their last home loss.
This is killing my buzz. RE-make a new pot...dump it in the ****ter...along with a program...and all is well? Did this work when kyle orton was QB for the bears?
Of course you gotta eat the fukn sh1t! How else are you going to take a massive chili dump upon the burnt chili.
Honestly. You would laugh at some of the things that we do during games for luck.
Ditka Bobbleheads on the mantle. Homemade Walter Payton Bobbleheads facing Mecca. A Samurai sword draped in a Singletary jersey. Certian people arent allowed to wear Bears Colors...or they are torn off of him. My brother has to spill a beer on the table during every bears game and dump and ashtray and clean it up. The list goes on and on.
We have all kinds of strange traditions and rituals. We make new ones up all the time. If they work, they are repeated. If not, they are banished.
We had a tradition that I started with the Bulls first Championship victory we did it 6 fukn times. The result. 2 black eyes and glass in the feet, one near arrest, and light firework burns. At first it was just one other friend and I. By the last champioship there was close to 10 people out there in whitey tighties bangin pots and pans in the middle of a busy street.
After the bulls won every year , we would all strip to our underwear and get pots and pans and go to one of the busiest (and most dangerous intersection in the US at the time) Cicero and 127th st. and bang pots and pans in our underwear for a few hours. Running up to cars and high fiving people and screaming at the tops of our lungs.
My friend got pulled into a car and punched twice by a car load of black kids. We then decided to not get too close to the cars...that and the beer cans, glass bottles, bottle rockets and firecrackers people would throw....
sorry man...got to side with public at large on this one. Some very drunk dude, almost 300 lbs in his underwear comes running at my car I just bump him with the fender and keep driving. But I hear you on the variuos taboos....got one friend who can never attend another Bears-Packers game, of the 3 he attended the bears were smoked in all three. Now when we plan what games we will go to it is never an option, he's even down with it.
In 85 the only game I wasn't at home for the complete game was the Miami loss, watched it at a friends....never again. Know people who won't eat certain foods for breakfast because there were losses when they had it for breakfast...LOL...avoid bad Ju-Ju at all costs.
a partial list of game time taboos and must dos...
believe it or not
Shower the night before - no bathing on game day I have actual game day purple -ahem- underthings <grin> that must be on before kickoff Must have at least 2 of the four available T.V.s on Vikes game no mtter what game is on CBS I have game day drink ware- different glasses depending on the need of the team Now if the team is struggling and my usual exhortations are not enough- there is the (and if this doesn't scream "I'm a Chick" nothing does) Water houseplants- I swear it works!
My friend Kris wears purple polish on fingers and gold on toes for game day
And yes bad ju-ju must be avoided - the glass I was drinking from on Monday - destroyed. still debating on gobears rather icky option... LOL!
yea... ive laid off the superstitions recently since they didnt do $hit for us last year... but i used to be pretty into it...
semi-normal stuff:
-eagles glassware
-yuengling only
-lucky eagles merch, etc.
borderline insane:
hanging up a players jersey on the wall who played poorly in prior games as a means of rallying his game back.
kicking certain people out if it seems they have affected the eagles' luck for the worse
lights on/off, whatever is working
when watching at my parents or grandparents house, game must be watched in the basement and mom/grandmom is not allowed below the second step from the top of the stairs... this isnt sexist... its just evolved that way... just like certain friends aren't allowed over to watch the game because of their history of jinxing the birds, etc.
Every Sunday we used to watch the Bears game in my friends parents basement (which also doubled as his bedroom). Everyone had the same seat every week. Just about every fukn week my brother (The guy who spills ashtrays and beers) would knock my friends alarm clock off the arm of the couch. So if we made it through a few quarters without having knocked it off, my brother would force it.
